Things to relate – last goodbye 

One last time before I go I wanna let you know that If you’re reading it is too late, too late to save  love, no religion that could’ve save me so for one last time read my words because you won’t see them again just to tell you that

I’m sorry  that I troubled with you my obsession

I’m sorry that I couldn’t control my tears when I saw you with spending time with your friends and not with me instead

I’m sorry that I waited like a fucking moron when you didn’t replied my messages or calls and acted like a lunatic when I got a single sign of yours 

I’m sorry cause I know it will never be the same still I kept on trying

I’m sorry that I called you when I was dead drunk and you were the only one I remembered 

I’m sorry that I sent you  dozens of texts messages when I know you don’t care anymore 

I’m sorry that I wrote those lots of words for you when I was missing you so much that it nearly killed me 

I’m sorry because I keep running to you because you the only one I can call mine , though I know I’m not the one you care about 

I’m sorry that I hope that someday you’ll realize my pain and come back holding me stopping me from leaving 

I’m sorry that I saw my future with you growing old and then dying with you but it won’t happen again 

I’m sorry because I love you 

But I  won’t repeat  again it won’t happen from now you won’t find me drunk texting you in the middle of a night, you won’t read my words calling you back , 

My mom, she’s not gonna find my eyes red and worry, ain’t gonna pretend to believe that I wasnt crying those sleepless night . Dad’s ain’t gonna worry about why I’ve been writing up those sad stuff and try to smile when everyone’s around

It wont happen anymore no more avoidance of sad songs no more feeling a little heart break when my friends gonna call your name . No more losing my heart on your smile. I’ve been bad I know that and got what I deserve it’s not necessary for me to survive in every tale , sometimes that’s all it takes to be free and free you

Life isn’t a movie you don’t get what you wish for , love doesn’t conqueres all. Fear that is something stops you for getting something new…. fear of opportunities , fear of love , fear of letting someone go never let’s you overcome yourself. Yours

 love or whatever it was it still flashes scares me one that i fear of, it suffocates me you fucking hate me and I can’t change it. Sometimes it’s better to choke yourself then letting someone else do it for you. I waited ….a lot…I was on my knees and pleading , with the wrist bleeding but you don’t even listen so fuck it , it stops me from breathing . 

I hoped for you to get me to make everything right again but it’s too late , I got what was meant but please, I don’t deserve to be forgotten, it is the hope that kept me going no surety but I’m left with none but only one I want that dont forget me completely , think of me when I’m gone but dont if you don’t want to….. just be happy as you are , I know you won’t cry you already did a lot of it and i already did a lot of me . But just promise me that you will think of me every time you hear the word love , everytime you look up.in the sky , everytime you see my name, my word. I gave you all just take my words along the last one I wanna give it to you, they will be there for you with you in the places and situation I could never be , they will always be there for you I won’t . So until I can bear this place I will love you 

broken smiled girl

She’s a girl who drove long eon with her feel-wounded heart

Everything she ever thought was right started to tear her apart

She’s a girl use to cry on Monday morning

Even spend her nights waiting for something

She’s a girl who needed to be hold needed to cry

She’s a girl staring at a picture till her tears go dry

Trying to live her way on I wanted her to burl

She got none else to say on she’s a broken smiled girl

She’s a girl who look in the mirror asks herself

Where’s your god when she’s screaming for help

She is a girl with million happy memories behind

But now burnt in flame of past ashes she can find

She’s a girl finding meaning of her existence

She’s a girl trying hoping looking for her senses

Got dazed by thoughts her mind goes whirl

Immense of fights she fought she’s a broken smiled girl

she’s a girl blubs on her pillow in the dark

she’s a girl with fragile heart with a scar on the mark

she’s a girl believed that some thing will last forever

like love written on the stars or firmly on the feather

she’s a girl lying top of her car looking to the moon

she’s stifling like on a height her she goes swirl

sitting in the corner hating the light she’s a broken smiled girl

all rights reserved by utzpicturesque

all rights reserved by utzpicturesque

Darkness , light and stars

 was the greeny September the awful day

A leaf fell down n lead me the way

The place engraved on my heart lil too apart and lot too away

Breeze move along and the part of hay

You sitting next so on

And time that warn

 been a eon

the truth is now you’re gone

 

And I sit for a while

laying one the pile

looking really far

dreaming  in the darkness of lights n stars

 

Removing leather jacket you shivering with the cold

And you put it with the fold

I was big but not that old

Young but not that bold

Looking at your charm

Beneath that cuff a tattoo on my arm

Nut no one eva dose as you harm

Breaking my fantasy like banging on alarm

 

And a dream for a while

To make a reconcile  

But now its really dark

 Dreaming in the darkness of lights n stars

 

The stars neva shine as bright as you

Raised beat of my heart n breath left few

Eventually it got dried although I tried my winter dew

N left with no move to do

Still wait for your knock on the door

Your dreams the beautiful thing I adore

I pickup my broken pieces bleed up my disturbed creases n wait for more

In my heart those things got stored 

 

Even if I was vile

I would wait for your smile

But now it’s a bullet on my mark

M lost in the darkness of light and stars 

Fall again

hey there you are in your perfect way

like a sunlight a morning ray

the way you hold me close you bring me down to knees

when u bid ua hand in my hairs like a smooth breze 

 

 

i feel you make me feel like i’m feeling your breath in my vain

you make me fall again

 

 

the way i tease you with my words you call me rile

i love it while scolding me i catch your smile

and when we share all crazy stuff in the end

i feel you on my skin when you cling my hand

 

 

when the moon climbs up i think about you when the light touches my window pane 

you make me fall again

 

 

the time you dont talk to me or say the same

my heart breaks a little even its joke or the game

when the sun sets down it lights the sky

i hope you whysking out some where i close my eyes n feel you blow passing by 

 

 

 

girl you feel like a spark to my heart blow to my clouds nyer to my rain 

you make me fall again

 

 

do you ever think why i come youn

ever wanna let you go by everything i do

maybe you are essiential to me you feel like the air i breathe 

i dunno what i was before you but without you i have no reason to be

 

 

i feel like saying my word for you but some how my mind refrain

you make me fall again 

If you don’t Care don’t pretend

I’ll pretend , that you didnt took me as something little more than friend

I’ll pretend , that we were enough to break the ice and make it till the end

I’ll pretend , that we never been that close

I’ll pretend , that we were same as it goes

we were same as two banks and together but still blank

and it is nothing as im dreaming

I’m holding up your wrist and holding up our time in fist

and stopping you from leaving

 

You won’t even listen so fuck it , m leaving up your hand

But if you don’t care just don’t pretend

 

I’ll pretend , that everytime you sat beside me you never got a feel

I’ll pretend , that your  boyfriend  stories were the chance to take a heal

I’ll pretend , that things I did every friend will do

I’ll pretend , that what I feel for you that you never knew

And every night you didn’t sent me kisses from the heart , when I held you still we were apart

. you still took heart out of my chest

And every time scolded me up , on the time that still feels rough ,

we weren’t two birds that flocked together on the nest

 

You cant feel it as I do , I understand

But if you don’t care don’t pretend